HITTING THE WALL ©
It is so frightening to know that I might hit the wall again.
It can happen at any time --
One minute, everything is wonderful,
I feel elated, joyous, at peace with the world.
Then, suddenly, lightning strikes.
My whole system is in the grip of my fear.
My mind runs endless scenes of defeat and loss, of pain and sorrow.
My heart constricts, tightening into a little ball,
Afraid to open, afraid to be vulnerable.
My body tenses, muscles in hard knots,
Ready to jump away from the unknown space in front of me.
My spirit shuts down,
Afraid to listen to the loving voice of the universe,
Afraid to be free, to find safety in freedom.
I have hit the wall again.
And then I remember
That I used to live face up to the wall,
Always in my fear and isolation.
Until I took that first step backwards
Away from the wall.
Then I could see the wall.
I could see my way around it
Or through it.
And I did not have to spend my life
Caught in the trap of fear.
And now,
Whenever I hit the wall again,
I can take a step backwards
I can admit powerlessness
I can let go. I can trust.
And suddenly I find myself
On the other side of the wall. |
